Kitty Zombie Apocalypse!

KITTY ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

MF Kitty: Zombie Slayer (Backstory)

Nobody remembers the last normal purr. Sometimes, in the dead hours before dawn when the world holds its breath, you might think you hear it echoing from some distant alley. But that's just wishful thinking, friend. Just your mind playing tricks in a world gone mad with tiny teeth and glowing eyes.

It started, as these things always do, with the best of intentions. PurrfectPlus they called it, this miracle mist that promised to turn every scraggly shelter kitten into a picture-perfect furball. "Shinier coats! Calmer mews! Healthier, happier cats!" The marketing sang its siren song, and every animal shelter from Portland to Pensacola bought in wholesale.

But somewhere in a windowless laboratory, some corporate bean-counter made a decision that would damn us all. Catnip oil was expensive. Algae culture from the discount supplier was not. The swap seemed harmless enough, a simple cost-cutting measure that would boost quarterly profits. Nobody bothered to test what happened when that bargain-bin green slime met the toxoplasma gondii already lurking in every cat's bloodstream.

They should have bothered.

Within a week, the shelters became something out of a fever dream. Kittens stumbled through their cages like furry marionettes with severed strings, their eyes clouded milk-white, their tiny mouths opening and closing with mechanical hunger. They moved with purpose now, but it wasn't the purpose of the living. They wanted flesh. They wanted blood. They wanted anything that moved, and they wanted it with the single-minded devotion of the truly damned.

But from this nightmare prowled something different. Something that refused to bow to the blight.

MF Kitty.

Not the hero we deserved, but perhaps the only hero possible in a world where salvation comes on four paws and speaks in the language of precision violence. This was no ordinary cat, if indeed any cat could be called ordinary after the change. MF Kitty possessed lungs like twin cannons and a gift that defied natural law: the ability to conjure killer hairballs at will.

These weren't the pitiful, wet clumps that normal cats occasionally expelled onto expensive carpets. No, MF Kitty's hairballs were weapons of war, dense spheres of concentrated fury that whistled through the air like cannonballs and exploded against their targets with devastating effect. Where other cats merely coughed, MF Kitty took aim. Where other cats fled in terror, MF Kitty stalked forward with deadly intent.

Why MF Kitty survived when millions of others fell remains a mystery wrapped in an enigma and stuffed inside a riddle. Perhaps it was some freak genetic quirk, some twist of DNA that rendered immunity where others found only infection. Perhaps it was the legendary nine lives manifesting as supernatural resistance. Or perhaps, and this seems most likely to those who've witnessed MF Kitty in action, it was simply the universe's way of saying that some creatures are too damn stubborn to die quietly.

Now, while the world burns and tiny monsters prowl the shadows, MF Kitty moves through the urban wasteland with terrible purpose. Rooftop to alley, building to basement, hunting the source of the contagion while gathering what few survivors remain. Each night brings fresh horror, fresh battles against waves of corrupted kittens whose cuteness masks appetites that would make sharks weep with envy.

But MF Kitty fights on, one precision hairball at a time, carving a bloody path through the ranks of the infected. The mission is simple in its impossible scope: save what can be saved, restore the natural order, bring back the gentle purrs that once made the world a little less dark.

And if no cure can be found? If science fails and hope dies and the last human barricades finally fall?

Then MF Kitty will hunt until the final zombie kitten crumbles to dust, alone in a world gone silent, the last guardian of a species that forgot how to be innocent.